Tag Archives: laundry

Laundry…the Never-Ending Story

My Never-Ending Story

When I was a kid daydreaming about fighting battles, they usually took place in Narnia.  And I won.  A lot.  The battle I wage today (and every day of my adult life) is against laundry.  Unlike fighting against the White Witch, or against Uncle Miraz, this battle is completely futile.  I’m pretty sure I’m never going to win, and I’m (mostly) okay with that.

I just wish I could exterminate my Creepy Crawly Sock Monster once and for all.  Because of his insatiable and varied appetite, I currently have thirteen widowed socks living in my dryer.  Seriously.  I’m thinking of starting a Lonely Socks Club.  Our motto could be “Clean, single, and looking for a mate.”  Are you a grey sock with chartreuse stars sized 12-24 months?  We may have someone just for you!

I did nine loads of laundry this weekend.  I wasn’t particularly behind or anything when I started that evolution, but yesterday was Sheets Day, which always takes longer than I think that it’s going to take…for a couple of reasons.

In the first place, Oldest sleeps with about six blankets and at least five large stuffed animals, along with his sheets, pillowcase and pillow.  When I do the whole kit and kaboodle, his bed usually adds up to a little more than two loads all by itself. The rest of his third load was comprised of the sheets and pillowcases from my bed.  Yesterday was also Down Day, where my comforter and pillows each got their own respective loads…and because they are delicate creatures, the drying process is massively extended.  Like a lot.  When I finished those five (?!!) loads, I took one look at the growing pile of laundry and decided to wait on the babies’ bedclothes until I was able to carve a sizable dent in Mount Washmore.  And then I looked at the clock and realized with mounting dread that Mound Washmore wasn’t getting carved anymore that day.

Have I mentioned that typically I do at least one load of laundry every day of the week?  Because in my house, if you miss a day of laundry, you’re suddenly a week behind.  Anyway.

When I started back up this afternoon, the prospect wasn’t too grim.  And then I realized that sorting had to happen.  I had a load that contained nothing but two jersey maternity dresses and a maxi skirt, because apparently, they are the only clothes I have in those colors and with that particular set of fabric care instructions.  I had a load of mostly reds and another of mostly whites or whitish garments.  Normally, they’d have gone in together and I’d have used one of those cool little color catcher sheet thingies, but these reds were mostly new and I didn’t want to risk turning the whites pink.  I keep telling my husband that pink is just light red, but he doesn’t buy it.  The ninth load was the normal accumulation of clothing for Saturday, plus the green-tinged clothes from Grass Day.

I got everything folded/hung and put away after dinner and was about to indulge in a happy dance…when I looked in the corner by the washing machine and found a towel that somehow missed its load.

And then discovered a trail of tiny shorts and T-shirts leading to the bathroom, where two happy babies splashed in the tub.

And then found a heap of dirties in Oldest’s room after he got ready for bed.

And then I treated a stain or two on my husband’s shirt and mine.  (Newest Baby always gets spots in the same place…whether I’m wearing an apron to protect us or not.  Poor guy.  Poor Momma.)

Missed it by that much.  At least the first load for tomorrow is pretty much ready to go.

And I totally earned the No-Bake Lime Cheesecake from Nikki at Chef in Training that I made as a reward for myself tonight.  You should really check it out.  I saw her post yesterday on Facebook, and the picture alone was scrumptious enough to have me dreaming about it throughout my entire epic laundry adventure.  It’s light and fluffy instead of thick and, well, cheesy.  It’s not sickeningly sweet, either, which is my normal gripe with cheesecake.  The lime gives it a teensie push into the tart zone that is crazy awesome.  My cute little family loved it, too.  Baby cried when his bites were gone, and Hubs and Oldest brainstormed about other flavors that I should try the next time.  Like orange, cherry, raspberry, lemon and grape.  You got it, guys.

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“I Could Have Slept All Night”

When I was in high school, a friend of mine burst out in a parody version of the “I Could Have Danced All Night” number from My Fair Lady that made me giggle…and then sigh…because it is so true.

” I could have slept all night, I could have slept all night,

And still have begged for more.”

I went through a phase during my teenaged years where I slept as much as I could every chance I got.  Looking back, I’m really glad that I did that.  While it didn’t make for very interesting diary entries (“Took a nap today and it was awesome!”), it was arguably the last time that I’ll be able to do that for the next thirty years or so.  Seriously, I would give much to be able to have the two naps a day that my baby and my toddler fight so vociferously.  I’ve come to the determination that naps are totally wasted on the young.  I’ll make a deal with you, guys;  you do the laundry for me, and I’ll take the naps for you.  Deal?  I didn’t think so.

Can we digress for a moment and talk about diary entries?  I know it’s fairly off-topic, but even as uninteresting as my sleepy entries will be to people decades and centuries from now, I have to believe that they will still be more interesting than the entries in George Washington’s diaries.  I studied those suckers in high school and it still blows my mind that a guy that awesome had such mind-numbingly boring things to saw.  Seriously.  All four volumes were entirely comprised of how many miles he rode on his horse or what he had for dinner that day.  Where the heck were the entries on crossing the Delaware, or the awful winter at Valley Forge, or meeting Martha, or when he got his new dentures?  I’m just saying.  Mix it up a little, George!  P.S.  I’m still a huge fan.  Huge.

Anyway.  The last couple of days, I’ve been so tired that it physically hurts.  I sat down today to grade a couple of math lessons and woke up an hour later.  I’m going to chalk that up to the epic weekend and being pregnant.  (Energy, you should be back by now.  I’m giving you notice.  The books say you should be back, so where the heck are you?!!)  I’ve been going to bed at the time that an average adult might for the last few nights, and I’m telling you, it ain’t worth getting to stay up late with the grown-ups.

That song from My Fair Lady is stuck in my head.  And now it’s in yours, too.  You’re welcome…and good night.

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Identity Crisis

Apparently, I’m not Wonder Woman.

I learned that much yesterday.  Oh, sure…I got a lot done.

  1. Third-trimester workout.  I heart Lindsay Brin.  I must say that squats are not particularly easy when you have a baby bump throwing off your center of gravity.  Note to self: find the first trimester DVD, which is currently MIA from my four-DVD set.
  2. Laundry.  And I even got a set-in grease stain out of one of my husband’s favorite polo shirts.  Score!  (If you’re wondering, I sprayed the spot with a little bit of Zout and then rubbed white chalk into it before running it through with the rest of a load of clothes.  Who knew, right?  Pinterest rocks!  If only I’d known about this before throwing so many clothes afflicted with melted Chapstick away…)
  3. Cleaned out the refrigerator.  I just did this the Friday before Christmas, but with a few holiday odds and ends still lingering, it needed doing again.
  4. Washed the dishes resulting from item 2.
  5. Reorganized three and a half kitchen cabinets.  The good news is that I don’t need to buy Jello for awhile.  I also got a real-life step-aerobics workout in during this evolution.  Step up, step down.
  6. Got the lids off of three McCormick spice grinders.  This was harder than it sounds…  Once I figured out a system, it went pretty quickly.  I do have a battle wound on my left palm from tweaker slippage, but it’s worth it to be able to reuse my sea salt grinder.  (For the non-techie, a tweaker is a mini screwdriver.  Mine happened to be a flat-head.  Nice and sharp.)
  7. Made my chocolate ice cream base.  I tried freezing it last night while I was making dinner, but I stopped the churn for a minute to pour the rest of the base into the bowl.  Yeah.  Won’t be doing that again.  The base went back into the fridge and the bowl went back into the freezer overnight.  However, I successfully froze it this morning.  Holy chocolatey goodness.  That’s a keeper, lemme tell you.  I need to tweak the recipe a smidge because it seems to freeze rock-solid pretty quickly…just at the bottom and sides of the bowl, which I’ve never had an issue with before.  Granted, this is only the third recipe I’ve tried, so I don’t have much in the way of reference to go by in setting a baseline for “normal” ice cream behavior.  No biggie.  It has an amazingly smooth texture and tastes like a Wendy’s original Frosty.  Except mine has crushed (low fat) Oreos to bump it up a level of awesome.  Hopefully, it’ll be a big hit after dinner tonight.
  8. Cycled Baby’s clothes from the 12-18 month size range to the 18-24/2T size range…and reminded myself that it was only temporary.  Those cute little clothes will be out again before too much longer.
  9. Made dinner.  This is a huge accomplishment because by the time dinner rolled around, I was seriously considering a fast-food run just so I’d be able to sit on the heated seats in my truck for a few minutes.

Productive day, right?  The only things I didn’t get done were shaving my legs (which is really overrated at this point in time) and writing yesterday’s blog post.  *hangs head*  In my defense, it probably would have been only a few words long and not terribly coherent.  See example below:

“Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak.  Thank you.”

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

(I heart Professor Dumbledore, too.)  I did learn yesterday that although one might have the mental energy to tackle a bunch of projects all at once, one should not attempt it when one is in the third trimester because one will feel like one has been hit by a semi and then dragged five rocky miles by a tractor for good measure unless one is Wonder Woman.  Which I am not.

I’m not tall enough, for one thing.

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Playing Ketchup and Mustard

This past week was a rather strange one.  I know that I accomplished a huge amount of things…I just can’t remember what they all were.

I am happy to report that most of the damage from The Big Water Heater Incident has been rectified. The new floor looks fantastic!  The last items on the agenda are minute paint touch-ups, insurance agent wrangling (dinette damage), and getting the table refinished.

I have also pretty much perfected my bread machine bagel dough recipe.  Apparently, the secret to amazing bagel dough is to add an egg  per cup of flour and to cut back on the water (about an ounce and a half per egg added).  The next thing on my bagel list is to work on my bagel-forming technique.  The first half of the batch always turn out pretty well shape-wise, but the last half looks more…well, rugged.

I gave my dogs baths, which is no small feat.  My mutt hides under whichever piece of furniture is closest to her whenever she hears the word “bath.”  Good thing she hasn’t learned to speak Pig Latin…yet.  My beagle does not understand the word “bath” in English or otherwise, so getting him into the bathroom is usually pretty easy as long as there’s food involved.  However, getting him into the tub is another story.  He is an unusual beagle in that he weighs about 65 pounds and is shaped rather like a barrel with stubby legs, a metronome for a tail and floppy ears.  (He’s really not overweight…he is just built more like a hippopotamus than a beagle.)

Laundry.  ‘Nuff said.

We finished out the week with lots and lots of family time outdoors at the nearby amusement park.  We got rained out on Saturday, which was a bit of a bummer.  We thought we might get rained out when we went back Sunday afternoon, but the dismal clouds fled the scene, leaving the evening perfectly gorgeous…sunny and warm.  Bonus: hardly anybody showed up to the park, so we had short lines for rides and shows all day.  The baby got to ride on the merry-go-round with me…no horsies for him yet, but he loved smacking at the large gorilla head adorning our bench.

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Failure

The inimitable Thomas Edison wrote (regarding his quest to invent the light bulb), “I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10, 000 ways that won’t work.”  Keeping that in mind, I did not fail to write my blog post yesterday.  I simply found 11 things to do that did not lead to a completed blog post.

The cream of ogre soup and freshly baked bread made for a fabulous family dinner.  (Note: no ogres were actually harmed in the making of this dinner.  It’s just that split peas are so suggestive of ogre essence.  Plus, it’s so much more fun to tell husband and kid that we’re having ogres for dinner.)

I finished all of the laundry before more was made.

I was able to finish inputting my oldest kid’s grades into the new database program I found so that I can generate his report card on Friday (to close out the first term since we started homeschooling…which is a pretty big deal).  The program is awesome.  Finding it 8 weeks ago would have been more awesome, but I digress.

My baby and I had some more crawling lessons.  ( I know how, but he doesn’t.)  He has managed the launch position about 6 times on his own now, and rolling around on the carpet while the dogs try to figure out what’s going on is always a good time.

My oldest learned how to use a simple balance.  Together, we discovered that a nickel weighs 5 grams and that 12 nickels weigh 60 (science plus math equals awesome), a box of 24 crayons weighs 133 grams and my husband’s watch weighs 158 grams.

My husband and I even got to watch half of “Braveheart” together before giving in to exhaustion.

It was a very successful day, even though my “new post” browser window remained blank.  To paraphrase the Mythbusters, failure of this sort is always an option.

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