Hail to the Redskins! My guys clinched the NFC East championship last night…for the first time since I was a junior in high school. Sadly, I didn’t watch the game because it came on after my bedtime. (Hey…you’d have the bedtime of an elementary school kid, too…if you had to get up ten times a night and endure stupid dreams about pirates stealing your sheep and being unable to do anything about it because your shotgun was loaded with blueberries. Dang pregnancy hormones…) Apparently, it was an epic game.
I’ve been a Redskins fan as long as I can remember. We were really good back in the day, and then something happened around the time I turned seven and we started stinking. No matter. During my braces phase, I wore their colors on my teeth every season for five years running. I thought of them every time I brushed my teeth, which was frequently because the horror of any teenaged girl with braces is to be seen with broccoli stuck in your brackets. (Side note: if you think that getting white rubber bands on your braces will help said braces blend into your teeth, that will only be true as long as you remember not to put yellow mustard on your sandwich. Just saying.)
One of the ways that you can tell a true Redskins fan is that we don’t particularly care whether we make it to the playoffs or not. As long as we beat the Cowboys at least once, it’s been a successful season. Last night’s game was like melding peanut butter and chocolate together into one tasty bite. We made it to the playoffs…and beat the Cowboys. Charlie Sheen would probably hashtag that as winning, but I digress. I’m trying really hard not to metaphorically rub our victory into my Cowboy fan husband and brothers’ faces. As I ended up doing to the pirates with my useless blueberry bullets in my sleep last night.
Boy, did they look silly with purple faces. But in the end, they still took my sheep.